Well That's Encouraging
Is it just me, or is parenting a very thankless job? Especially fatherhood! I mean really, it seems I was publicly more appreciated when waiting tables at IHOP as a teen–people even gave monetary tips! But no, not with parenting. You’ll be fortunate if anyone tells you, “Hey, you’re doing great. Keep up the good job.” Sure, occasionally you may hear someone compliment your kids, but when someone compliments your parenting, it’s a special thing. And let me say, I’m honestly still trying to figure out this whole parenting thing, but it is good to be encouraged along the way.
For many of us, it's so easy to be discouraged and feel like a complete failure. It’s also sad how marginalized the role of a father seems in American culture. But then there are those brief and scarce moments that are actually affirming. Those times to feel proud. And then deep down, if you were honest, you can't even take credit for it because if you’re honest then you know that it's only the grace of God that you don't totally botch up your kid's lives–and yours along with it.
So one random Saturday morning I met up with a friend for a dad play-date. We were meeting up at the mall to let the kids see the Christmas decorations there and then play at the playground. It was the best indoor option for the frugal father I try to be. And let me tell you, we needed an indoor option–it was a very snowy day... I actually almost got stuck in my own driveway! The roads were freshly covered and not plowed. Even with the trucks trying plow the main roads, (it seemed as soon as they did) more snow would fall and cover the roads. You get the point... it was the type of day I'd normally just stay in. But the kids had been looking forward to this play-date, so I braved the weather and went anyway.
We survived the trek, got to the indoor play place and the kids just loved it. They all just went along and did their thing, having fun and playing with the other kids there. I usually sit near the exit, because for whatever reason, my little guy sometimes wants to run out of the play-place (I’m also probably a little over-protective). So I'm there at the playground, just talking with my friend and trying keep my head on swivel and keep the kids on my radar. Occasionally they were out of sight while I was talking, and in one of those moments another parent walks up to me and asks "hey, is that your son over there?" At first thought, I’m thinking “who did he push, bite, hit or knock over... and am I about to get the bad parent of the afternoon award or something??” I nervously answered, "uh yeah...what did he do?" The parent said, "Oh, nothing bad! I'm just amazed at how loving he is with the other kids! He is so kind hearted and meek with the kids. I see how he plays so nicely with everyone and is very affectionate. It’s so beautiful. You have a great son.”
"What would happen if more parents started to encourage each other publicly"
I was so humbled by this. Yes, my son always loves giving kids hugs (especially little girls, but that's another conversation). And he also seems to be considerate of other kids and patient with sharing the playground (not all the time, but that morning he was particularly loving to the other kids there). Maybe he was just super happy to finally escape the house that day and was bubbling over with joy. Whatever the case, I was so encouraged by that parent. Thinking of it now, I ponder this thought: what would happen if more parents started to encourage each other publicly?
True story, I could’ve given the parent the disclaimer and let them know that it’s only by God’s grace that this little guy is as loving as he is, but I just told them that we try our best to raise our kids in a loving home and hope they spread the love everywhere. Which, that is our goal, but it's definitely not where the love in our home comes from. The love we know is in Jesus, He is the foundation of everything we have to give in our family. Without it, we are bankrupt and just broken parents needing to be loved ourselves. It’s the love of God that offers us an overflow to give.
It felt good thinking of how this other parent noted and admired the love he saw in my son who is is one (going on) two years old. My three year old daughter is also the same way. They are the typical brother and sister and have fights and quarrels over silly things just like other toddlers. But from that random stranger's encouragement, I’m reminded of how blessed I am to be raising these special little ones we have.
